Change What It Is

Inside myself I feel an eagerness to break out of the chains I’m in. I’m like a baby wanting to walk so desperately. I thirst to know everything possible; to learn. I’m anxious to… http://itswhatisaid.com/2011/07/14/to-whom-it-may-concern/

Change is defined as – to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone; to transform or convert.

I read a blog post by Man Vs Debt titled “It’s O.K. to Change Your Course” (http://manvsdebt.com/its-o-k-to-change-your-course/) that hit home with me. Being a single mom and sole bread winner I have limitations with what I can do. Some limitations are financial, some are requiring a time frame I can’t do or commit to, and some it’s a door that won’t open for me. There is no such thing as NO being a final answer. Any limitations I encounter I work to change them. I reevaluate the situation and then do some fancy footwork to make something happen, find an alternative way or quite possibly a whole new route.

Never quit! You know that saying – “where there’s a will, there’s a way”, find your personal will and way. Man Vs Debt discussed in his blog how it’s ok to pivot; turn about face; make a 180 because life is to be lived and learned. He mentions how the world we live in punishes us for taking corrective actions and the conscious people of this world endure name calling of wishy-washy, flip-flopper, unstable, irresponsible, lazy and whimsical. These are just some of the negative terms positive/optimistic people endure when they live their life flexibly, allowing/wanting change to occur. I know this first hand, sadly.

Each of us has our own set of unique circumstances that brings change to our life sometimes by choice and sometimes not. No one should be ridiculed because of this. Unfortunately, as long as there are negative, critical, insecure people out there who are afraid of change then there will be obnoxious comments. To this I say push on.

Man Vs Debt mentions “realizing you’ve started down the wrong path – and correcting course – is admirable.”  “To stay with a condition in your life that you no longer believe in – just because you picked that path 12 months earlier – is insane.” I agree with him – ABSOLUTELY! Live your life your way. Follow your own rules. For me it’s not about a wrong path but the path I felt I had to be on all this time. This path has now changed because I chose it to change. Each day I work at bringing the positive change I envision for myself into my life. I made my flip-flop and I’ll do it again if my life requires it.

I ask two things of you – One, follow your heart and don’t allow any negativity to distract you from the changes you want to make in your life. Make your 180 because YOU CHOOSE not to be part of the status quo. Two, check out Man Vs Debt.

I was reading a blog called “Hey Amber Rae” (http://tumblr.heyamberrae.com/) that a friend recommended to me. She’s a brilliant woman who is extremely inspiring with a big love of life and helping people.

She asks questions that make you think. She wants you to be inspired, know yourself and follow your path in life. Don’t just dream – DO! They are questions I hope we all think about on occasion and hopefully know the answers to. For myself, I have tossed these thoughts around in my head but I now feel I should put them on paper or in this blog post. These answers will be helpful as I am looking for new employment. That process began this week.

What do I live for? What makes me come alive? What do I love?
I live/love (for) life. Life is beautiful and inspiring. It gets better each year regardless of any ups or downs. I live for my son; my beautiful child that I brought into this world 13 years ago. I live to show him that the world is beautiful and he should see it. I want to see more of it. I do my best to show him new things and pass all the information I gain on to him. I want to help him succeed in life. Things that make me come alive are my child, being in love, food, kind gestures. A hug, a kiss and a smile are things that make me feel good. I love to create in the kitchen and when it’s appreciated by loved ones it gives me satisfaction. I love to take care of people through the gifts I possess. I love to be around people, helping them, caring for them, feeding them. I like a challenge whatever that may be – at work or in my personal life. Seeing/touching the ocean and sand makes me feel good. I love the smell of basil and garlic sautéing in the kitchen and wafting through the home. I like bright colors and neutrals. They say clean, calm and happy to me. Being in love and having it reciprocated is something that can make you feel like you’re soaring above the clouds. I love that feeling! Receiving a kiss on the head is sweet and touching. I enjoy this sincere gesture.  

Why do you do? Where are you going?
I have done administrative work since I was 20 years old. I am changing that. I want so much more than just being an assistant in an office. I’m studying marketing and I really like it! I have an appetite for education. I’m dehydrated and the more I learn the more hydrated I become. Since I started blogging I found out I have a love of writing. I love to read and learn new things/information each day. I wouldn’t feel alive if I didn’t do this. I want to know everything. I will continue to grow the rest of my life. I choose not to be stagnant. I really enjoy dealing with people on a daily basis (customer service). Right now my goal is to get a new job at a company with opportunity for me to grow. I’m happy to start as an administrative assistant just to get in the door. As I continue my studies and get closer to earning my degree I will move in another direction. Of course, I hope they see I have much more to offer than just handling administrative tasks. I want to think and make decisions and create. I have interest in SEO, marketing, event planning, sales, customer service. I don’t know which direction I’ll go. That will unfold as time passes. I can wear many hats and I have many interests. Being I’m a quick study I can move fast. I want a career not a job. I seek promotion, prestige and status.

To sum me up – I am passionate about people, food and writing. It’s what gets me excited! It’s also what people get excited about from me and for me. I am motivational and inspiring to others. I am positive and optimistic. These are people’s favorite traits about me. I become more confident each day.

I don’t want to sit anymore. I want to move and shake! And so I’ve started knocking on doors and I’m waiting to see which one will open for me. Once I accomplish that step it’s on to the next – continuing school and perfecting my passion of food into my belly and on paper.

Thanks Amber Rae! I’ll be following you.

It was a rough few days deciding what to do with my future, again. I’m a creative person and so I struggle with wanting to do many things at once. I need to concentrate on one thing instead. I will be better accomplished this way, personally for now. That one thing is going to be – getting a new job.

My focus is on preparing myself to interview. I ordered two books from Barnes and Noble about how to interview. I want to make sure I’m ready when my moment comes. The first book is “The 250 Job Interview Questions: You’ll Most Likely Be Asked…And the Answers That Will Get You Hired!” by Peter Veruki. The second book is “101 Smart Questions to Ask on Your Interview” by Ronald W. Fry. I’m excited to read these books and prepare myself for an opportunity to a new and exciting job; doorway to a new career.

I’m on Linkedin applying to jobs I find that fit my credentials. I’ve reached out to friends that may be able to help me. Each day is different and a new chance for a fresh beginning. I’m humble and grateful to people for any assistance they provide me. Though I’m a 35 year old woman, in a sense, I’m like the kid graduating from college looking for her/his big break. I’m experienced, mature and have a lot to offer. I know who I am, where I’ve been and where I want to go. I know that I’m smart, motivated, and full of energy and eagerness. I want to learn new things. Anything I do, I do 150%. I will succeed at anything I touch.

I waste no time and play no games. I like to enjoy myself but I can get right to business. I try to impress this upon my 13 year old son. I hope he listens to me. I can take him far with my knowledge and experience. It’s touching to know that I inspire my peers and they enjoy my writing and my openness about my life, struggles and hope for better. I’m glad I can lead by a good example (inspiration for others to do more with their lives) even at my age.

Honestly, it’s really not till you are in your 30’s that you settle into who you are as a person. I can look back and remember the stages in my life and the changes I had to experience in order to become the fabulous and smart woman I am now. It also helps that I was a mom at 21. Over the years as I was growing and finding myself I was raising a child and never steered from that path. He kept me focused and trying to pursue more for myself and for him. I was always mature and responsible. It was tough to be on my own doing it but I did it. My son was always my first priority and he still is but now mom is taking control and making steps to obtain the life I want to live which is a benefit to him also.

I know that I like and enjoy dealing with people in any aspect. I prefer to be in a creative environment. I want to have a job that I not only do but that I go to a table and contribute to the growth and success of the company. I’d love a flexible schedule. I’d like to be noticed for the qualities I possess and can/will gain. I’m an achiever. I enjoy writing and would like to become a better writer. Once I accomplish my first achievements on my list then I will concentrate on my passion of food. I would like to blog about food and I have an idea for a cookbook I would like to make materialize. I also want to entertain. I want to create fabulous dinner parties for friends and family. I’d like to spend more time on the beach, toes in the sand, smelling the ocean, watching the waves, worshipping the sun while thinking and enjoying the company of my child or hopefully, a best friend/love. Simple, quiet days filled with laughter and love is the best recipe for an enjoyable life.

Life is full of surprises. Each day is a new day and I’m blessed to be alive to raise my son and make bigger and bigger steps toward becoming an even more accomplished woman. The door I am waiting for to open will open soon. What lies behind it is a surprise but I will turn all those surprises into every color that is part of a rainbow which will lead me to my pot of gold because my determination to have only positive and good things in my life is great and deserved.

Exactly as the title suggests – I’m changing what it is – MY LIFE.

It’s not an easy thing to do. Grant it I don’t have great support from the people around me. This doesn’t matter to me. It’s my opinion that counts and I live according to my rules. I’m 35 and eager to start a new chapter. I want a new and exciting career. I’m interested in marketing, sales, event planning and/or continuing in real estate but without a degree I can’t enter these fields. Well, maybe I can with some luck and networking. I’m interested in the food industry and hotel industry. I have spent the last 9 years of my life in the real estate industry. The company I work for cannot do anything more for me than the position I am in; I’ve tried. I’m trying to find my niche. I read and learn new things each day that are helping me along the way to finding out where I belong but…

I meet resistance each day as I try to find a new job. I send out my resume hoping to ‘catch a bite’ and nothing. I want a chance! I’m young, smart, eager and even though I don’t have a college degree I still pack a punch with what skills I offer and how quickly I adjust and learn new things – Achieve, achieve!

I wrestle with the thought of not continuing school. Many people say I don’t need it. I have over a decade of work experience. An education won’t hurt me but will it make me more money? Will it help me enter a new industry? Or can I just network and find a way in on my own? Maybe I should just concentrate on my side interests – blogging, writing, baking, and cooking? Oh the decisions to be made!

I want to live life my way, finally. All these years, I have taken care of my son and stayed in one place doing the right thing. Now as he is entering high school, it’s time for his mama to go about building her life. I will never be far from him and I love him but I need to create my life just as he is creating his. I am making progress toward this but its baby steps. I know baby steps are the best first steps to take and better than nothing but I want to take larger steps, quicker strides.

I’m excited about all the new experiences I am having and the people I have met! It’s a wonderful road I’m on. My journey has just begun and though I’m riding on a camel, at the moment, I’m about to upgrade to a horse. My goal is to relocate to South Florida. I can’t wait to do this! It’s a perfect fit for me – sun, sand, drive to work (in my Infinity) – among other things I deem fabulous for my lifestyle! And as I have stated before hopefully I’ll get to add love to it. To me this is living life; enjoying.

Getting to where I want to be is the battle. I approach each day optimistically, smiling, chipping away at the concrete that holds my feet in their current place. One day soon, the concrete will be gone and I’ll be off to the change I seek.

Today’s thought – don’t be discouraged even when being looked in the face by despair

I thought I had it all figured out but the plan has changed. I wanted nothing more than to return to FIT and continue my quest earning my marketing degree but my focus has shifted. Instead I want to play off my history working in real estate. I’ve requested to be moved within my company from the leasing department where I have been for the past 9 years with my boss and friend Clive. I would like to work with the sales/marketing office or even a property manager directly. I hope my request will be accommodated. My goal is to attain exposure in one of those departments, more so than what I am now, and then relocate to Florida working for a property management company there. Since I was a teenager I have wanted to leave NY but life had other plans for me which kept me in NY all this time. I want to relocate by next summer at the latest. I really hope I can make this materialize.

I knew things were going to be different after I returned to NY from my layup with my broken foot. I am determined now more than ever to move on and live the life I want and have dreamed of forever. I don’t want to just dream this anymore, I want to kick the door open and do it. I love my son immensely but my decision is made to get moving on what I want now at 35 and not at 40. It will be tough but we’ll survive. He will remain with his grandparents until he graduates high school. This is his choice. They will then sell their house and go south. Hopefully, he will come and live with me for a bit. I have the support of my parents to do this. So, honestly, nothing else matters. It’s really only their opinion and my son’s that matters.

This change of heart comes after more self reflection on my current situation. If I earn my degree that’s awesome and I love attending school and learning but I’m not sure it’s going to really help me get a better job and more money. I can’t intern. I was going to volunteer and I’m all set to do that but they haven’t released any volunteer opportunities for me to do yet. I will do that when they call and can continue that down south because Make-A-Wish has chapters all over. But as far as school goes, I just don’t want to rack up anymore education debt. I just want to go live life! I want to find love and enjoy building a life and home and future filled with joy, family, travel and of course food!

I am proud of my work at FIT. I maintained a great average 3.23 and was introduced to many things I have interest in. Thank you Mrs. Brown! I would like to continue studying literature and touch on psychology, public speaking and art. I love FIT! It was my dream to go there and I did. I was accepted but I have to follow life’s curves. And the curves they are a changing!

The attached song by Bob Dylan, though about change in the world, especially during the time he wrote it, is poignant for me. My life, whether people agreed or disagreed with my decisions, I lived it my way. I learned my own lessons and grew into the great woman I am my way. My life has been evolving and changing since the day I chose to have my son. People can either stand by me or GET OUT OF MY WAY – with the future I am taking hold of and going to live.

Dylan wrote these lyrics to reflect upon the change of that time, the civil rights movement being one of the big changes that came. He was not a protestor (so he says) but a supporter of change.

Change.

To all with open eyes and open minds!

I can not completely understand why life can not go smooth for some people. It’s not that they are bad people; quite the opposite. They are just thrown curve balls and must stay up at bat until they can get a straight ball to hit.

I believe life is beautiful and must be lived through lessons. The universe aligns the way it is meant to for each of us. Our stars are set in each of our own skies. Though sometimes they shift, overall, our destinies are set. We each have to live our life and make decisions and learn the lessons that have been set for us. Our soul is what makes us unique and lives on after our body ceases. The soul is what we each of us needs to listen to when it speaks to us through our intuitions; our senses. Meditation can help you with this. By meditating you allow yourself ‘me’ time. This time allows you to tap deeper into yourself, feeling connected to yourself, and keeps you centered and focused on you.

My soul has spoken to me and I am listening. I had a moment of realization not to long ago and my road has shifted. The bumps have smoothed themselves out. This is not to say there aren’t any bumps; there are always bumps. The difference is the bumps seem much more minor and dare I say easier to navigate and worth ‘fighting’ for. I finally know exactly what I want and I’m not going to walk away from achieving it. I feel blessed that I know this. The feelings are deep within me and feel comforting. There is so much good to come, finally.

I’m learning how to have patience in life. This is not easy but age is helping. I’m eager to walk down my new road and see the sun rise. To see the sun rise will be a miracle by itself. Such a beautiful, large, yellow and white ball of light. Such a special gift to the world and life. It’s like love. Love, if you are lucky enough to experience it, is a beautiful, warm and deep feeling that flows through your body touching your soul. It’s special like the sun and it helps you to grow in ways different from anything else. It fills you up. It must be nurtured like the sun nurtures all of life’s precious gifts on earth.

Life is what you make of it. Always has been, always will be. ~ Grandma Moses

Life has so much to offer, if only people would slow down and realize this. It’s not even just slowing down that people need to do it’s changing their entire thought process. Too many people think negatively. I understand that the negative thinking could be the cause of life. Life is not always fair and can play hard with us. I’ve experienced this for way too long. However, I choose not to let my life be dictated by negativity or life’s curve balls.

I am an extremely optimistic person. I choose to turn anything negative into a positive. I’ve said before that my foot break has a purpose to it; having my son at 21 had its purpose; my two divorces and many boyfriends had its purpose. Life does not exist without purpose. There is a reason for everything. There is a reason because it’s meant to teach us a lesson. Each encounter whether good or bad, negative or positive has a lesson for us to learn. It is up to each person to decipher that and choose to learn and grow or stay stagnant. Many factors come into play here such as your thought process, astrological sign, upbringing, hunger for life, and attitude to name a few.

I have learned a ton of lessons. I have chosen to learn from the lessons I have experienced in life. I choose to grow and become a better person. And let me say that it is starting to pay off.

Find a way, find a purpose to wake up each day and push through the barriers. It will pay off. The reward for yourself when you accomplish what you have chosen for yourself is priceless and something only you can give to yourself.

Optimism is key. Try it.

I’m getting back to life. I’m walking slowly with a limp but I’m walking; making steps toward fully regaining my health. I’m refurbishing myself. I was great before but I plan to be even better now. The lay up allowed me to stop and think about who I am and what I want. I know all of this now. Of course, I’m flexible. You have to be flexible because anything can change but I have a plan and know the options.

First stop on my entrance back to daily routine is beautifying. I’m getting my hair done tomorrow. My best friend’s sister, darling sweetheart, is highlighting my hair blonde. I’m a blonde. This is the color that suits me. Next stop is tanning sessions to put the glow back on my skin. Lastly is a manicure with red polish that has been beckoning me forever. Ohh la la!

I will get out and do some shopping. I’m looking for some cute sneakers specifically. I plan to be back at the gym within a week utilizing the weight machines. I am doing Weight Watchers to shed some pounds and eat healthier. I applied to be reinstated to FIT for the fall. I’m waiting for their acceptance. I was approved to volunteer at Make-A-Wish Foundation which will begin in April. I’m excited about this! Making dreams come true for precious children who are being cut short in life will be magical and life changing.

I’ve reconnected with a very old friend at the end of my healing time home. I’ve impressed him and inspired him by all that I do. This makes me feel so good and proud of myself with humbleness. I don’t even know how I accomplish so much but I do. I guess those three rainbows I saw last year have blessed me with a ‘pot of gold’. While it’s nice to reconnect, it’s nicer to know I can help someone in need of direction and hope for themself.

I’m at peace. I’m happy and satisfied with my life. I don’t need turmoil and won’t allow it in my life. I have focus and plan to stay that way. However, I, like so many would love to let someone in and share on so many levels. Life is supposed be about living and growing and if you are lucky enough to find someone who is in the same belief system as you about life then you should pursue that and do what you need to make it work. You realize this with age and I’m about to turn 35. I’m ‘ripe’ and at the right point in life. I feel it inside me. It’s a wonderful secure feeling with who I am as a woman. My life is just beginning and I’m so excited to finally be accomplishing and beginning a new journey. The one I’ve waited forever for.

Today’s Thought – Smile and dream sweet dreams of life’s many surprises and possibilities that are guided by your whispers to the sky above and on to whatever you believe in.

Life has no limitations, except the ones you make ~ Les Brown

I’m frustrated with my foot condition and with this weather. I’ve been home way too long now. I’ve tried to walk and I can’t quite do it. I still need the crutches. The foot is not right and I need to see this new doctor for answers. Due to the fabulous weather NY is having I had to reschedule my appointment. I’m screaming inside my body. I need to get out! I need to see people other than my family. I am a mover and a shaker. I like to be busy and on the go. I have many things to accomplish. I still believe there is an underlying reason for my layup but it’s hard to wrap my head around it when I can’t see the sun shining and feel the move toward change.

I am sensitive to the seasons and weather but this is too much even for people who aren’t sensitive. I know I’m supposed to stay positive and continue toward making my progress no matter what happens but I can’t help a slip up of wahhhing emotions. I’ll get over it shortly. I would get over it very quickly if the sun would shine. This snow keeps me more housebound than the foot.

I’ve said before if life hands you lemons make lemonade and no matter what find a way to stay above the negativity to work toward your individual goals. I still believe this and live true to this but I am having a moment (moment meaning a short indefinite period of time according to www.dictionary.com). We are all entitled to our moment as long as we keep it a moment and your eyes are still set on your goal(s).

The quote I chose to feature at the beginning of this post was fished out to help me find focus and get out of my moment. I don’t want to set limitations on myself because of my foot condition. Though I’m home I’m still able to read and research things pertaining to my goals. I ordered a few books from Barnes and Noble – Content Rules: How to Create Killer Blogs, Podcasts, Videos, EBooks, Webinars (and more) That Engage Customers and Ignite Your Business by Ann Handley, David Meerman, and Scott C.C. Chapman; The 21 Indispensible Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want To Follow by John C. Maxwell; and The Glamour of Grammar: A Guide to the Magic and Mystery of Practical English by Roy Peter Clark. I can’t wait till they arrive. I need to keep busy and writing. I miss school, work and creating in the kitchen.

 At this point of the blog post my moment has passed. I feel better. I’m excited to see the doctor in a few days, for my books to arrive and for a few clear days before the next snow storm. I’ve been on Facebook chatting and sent an e-mail to registration at FIT to inquire about reinstating myself for the fall semester. Though the sun isn’t shining outside I feel like it is inside. I might have fallen down but I’m now getting back up and ready for whatever is next. There always is a next! I always get up and keep moving. I hope that my many friends will too. Each of us has our own story to tell and our own obstacles to overcome but please don’t give up. Set yourself free of the obstacles and weights in your life. Travel the road life has set before you because it will stop at some point. The point you are meant to be at.

 Today’s thought – Don’t let yourself become limited by what life throws at you; keep walking.